Page 27 - Volume 16 Number 8

Twenty-five years old. Have 1st kid. Now hot-shot fighter pilot getting shot at in war. Just want to get back in one piece. Return to USA as F-16 instructor. Get bored. Volunteer for war again.Twenty-seven years old. Get back from war dog-tired. Want out of the military.Twenty-nine years old. Hired by a major airline. World is your oyster.Thirty-two years old. Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over military poverty feeling but miss flying a “real” airplane.Thirty-three years old. Divorce exasperating 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance. Drink lots of tequila and play the field looking for wife #2.Thirty-four years old. Furloughed when Regional Jets overrun the world. Join Air Force reserve unit and fly a real airplane again.Thirty-six years old. Recalled to airline. Marry young, spunky 25 year old flight attendant.Thirty-seven years old. Buy another house (first wife took the other one).Thirty-eight years old. Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again. Wife concerned about “risky” military flying so you resign – five years short of military retirement.Thirty-nine years old. Now an Airline Captain. Upgrade house, buy boat, single engine plane and even flashier cars.Forty-two years old. Second wife (spunky flight attendant) runs off with wealthy, blue agave rancher she met on a trip – she wants everything but the plane. You stop drinking tequila.Forty-three years old. Settle with wife #2 and resolve to stay away from women for ever and ever.Forty-five years old. Seek position as a check airman for 10% more pay to cover mounting bills. Move into shared house with window air conditioners.Forty-seven years old. Airline files Chapter 11 to bust unions. You’re returned to copilot and 40% less pay. Become a sim instructor on the side for 10% additional pay.Forty-nine years old. Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with central air.Fifty years old. Meet sexy Latina model on international trip. She loves you and says you are very “Mature and manly – You bring me to USA?”Fifty-one years old. Marry sexy Latina model for wife #3. Buy big house, cabin-class twin and upgrade cars.Fifty-two years old. Sexy model claims her “clock is ticking” and wants kids (not again). Resolve to get a vasectomy very soon.Fifty-three years old. Try to talk wife #3 out of kids but – she’s pregnant. Drinking tequila again.Fifty-four years old. Father of twin girls. Wife wants very big house, big boat and flashy car. She’s worried about that dangerous “little” airplane. You give in, sell plane, and buy a Harley.Fifty-seven years old. Make an “aggressive” investment to try and have enough money for retirement.Fifty-nine years old. Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS. Have to fly international all-nighters just to keep up withAUGUST 2012 TWIN & TURBINE • 25