Page 44 - Sept18T

42 • TWIN & TURBINE September 2018
People will forget what you
said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
– Maya Angelou
An example of a modern-day petroglyph.
Then it later described the rear part of the lowest deck of a fighting ship before also defining the steering pit of a sailing yacht – a small sunken area where a coxswain is stationed. Eventually, the term spread to describe the area used to steer an airplane. Now, only “flight deck” is allowed to pass through the non-gallinaceous, non-anatomical PC social filter when describing our office.
You are Not Arthur Fonzarelli
In addition to the C-word, we probably shouldn’t say “strapped in” or “sitting on it” either (unless you’re the Fonz). But what if I’m on the flight deck needing a toothpick and it’s just the FO and myself? What if the FO is female, does it make a difference? Does refraining from using one in front of a female make me a gentleman or a chauvinist? Is the answer the same for any adjusting, scratching, belching and occasional use of profanity? Can I say the S-F-B or T words out loud? What if the potentially prohibited word begins with a vowel instead of a consonant? When making a PA or communicating with the crew, perhaps some type of text abbreviation or emoji would be wise; they’re the only remaining social format with few bounds, rules or decency. Isn’t it ironic that 4,000 years later, we’re back to using symbols to communicate? Smartphones, road signs, restrooms and symbols aboard airplanes all use some type of modern- day petroglyph. At least the petroglyphs from cavemen were sensitive to the feelings of others – and they didn’t need diversity, inclusion, bias, sensitivity or PC training to know the difference. Or perhaps they were in fact trained in such matters but were prohibited
from posting training results on the cave walls. The very first privacy, anti-bullying, anti-shaming ordinance most likely.
True Cause of Pilot Shortage Exposed!
The pilot shortage that many pre- dicted (including yours truly: see “Pilot Pendulum Predicament,” T&T January, 2013 and “Simple Math Soap- box,” T&T September, 2014) is finally affecting the bottom line of the ma- jors and low pay is no longer the root of the cause. It’s us old guys and gals that are retiring in droves because we cannot adapt to the use of PC emojis. Politically correct etiquette has reached a crescendo and formal, mandatory diversity, sensitivity, inclusion and anti-bias training have superglued our lips together. In addition to the piloting profession’s inconveniences and fishbowl lifestyle, some Part 121 pilots now list etiquette and political correctness conundrums as tertiary reasons for choosing to retire. There will be no saying “thank you sir/ma’am” or “ladies and gentlemen;” much too gender specific – use “folks” instead. No saying hello from the cockpit (the location is subject to that anatomical or chicken-fighting misinterpretation). Severe thunderstorms must now be called “heavy rain showers.” We can’t say severe or storm, and turbulence or windshear is called “bumpy air.” We’ll be “on the ground soon” must be “we’re landing soon.” We can’t have them thinking that it’s just any-old, non-specific ground we’re headed for. An engine failure is a “problem with one of the motors.” A porked approach is for “spacing” and a cancellation for crew rest is the “FAA’s fault.”
If our generation can learn FORTRAN, BASIC, COBOL, DOS, how to program a VCR and pump our own airplane gas, then maybe we can learn to be PC. Already, we can text in shorthand and we know the difference between LOL and LOP, OMG, OAT, ROFL and ROTG. We certainly don’t want to be seen on social media or the six o’clock news betraying some facet of PC though. So, remember my friends: better to remain silent and thought a fool than to use non-PC words or actions and remove all doubt. Perhaps we gallinaceous, old-•school pilots should simply join those retiring in droves so that we can resume our adjusting, scratching, spitting, belching and tooth picking without the threat of a bar of soap to the mouth. T&T
Kevin Dingman has been flying for more than 40 years. He’s an ATP typed in the B737 and DC9 with 23,000 hours in his logbook. A retired Air Force major, he flew the F-16 and later performed as an USAF Civil Air Patrol Liaison Officer. He flies volunteer missions for the Christian organization Wings of Mercy, is employed by a major airline, and owns and operates a Beechcraft Duke. Contact Kevin at ding- er10d@gmail.com.