Page 38 - Index

36 • TWIN & TURBINE October 2018
Jenny Craig life-changes occurred to our plump little Guppy. In the T&T story about my transition to the Guppy, I said of the 737NG (Next Generation): “...not that it matters to the ladies, but there is little room to stand straight-up, guy fashion, in the forward lav – the one us folks at the pointy-end use.” Unfortunately, the lavatories in the MAX are even smaller than the NG. So small that you must de- cide before entry if you will go in facing frontwards or backwards. For us guys, doesn’t that kind of telegraph which “busi- ness” we are about to undertake? Also, since there is zero maneuvering room once inside the lav, for those that elect to go in backwards, pulling down one’s britches before entering and after exiting seems socially questionable if not liberat- ing. We have actually had passengers that required assistance in extrication once they had shoehorned themselves into the loo and onto the throne, pants down being another conversation.
Does This Seat Make My Butt Look Big...ger?
There is also a well-publicized uproar over less seat pitch, seat width and tighter
spacing between rows of seats. Some cre- ative “geometry-engineering” with the tail cone, seat spacing and fewer galleys created the additional space for more of those seats of which the marketing folks dreamed. The less-publicized result born of the sardine-liner arrangement is a policy that if you can’t put down the arm- rests on both sides of your seat due to your Guppy-like-girth, then you have to pay for the additional adjacent seat(s) in order for them to remain unoccupied. For skinny folks that have endured “encroachment” from adjacent Guppy-like passengers, this seems a fair, welcome and most excellent strategy. But we have yet to determine if the PC police and public opinion will abide by such a transparent bias against those of us whose center sections are more aggressively influenced by gravity, particularly when in a seated position.
Fly Like You Stole It
How does it fly? I can’t tell you because Ihaven’tflownoneyet.ButIhaveflown the B-727, DC-10, MD-80 and a couple older flavors of the Guppy. I expect the MAX flies like a typical airliner: a huge, heavy, smooth but sluggish GA airplane
that most pilots, mechanics, fuelers and baggage handlers could fly – with or with- out permission. The consensus among those waiting for a crack at the jet is one of anxiousness. We all hope to fly with a pilot that has flown the airplane al- ready rather than someone that has not. Fortunately, everyone I’ve talked with that has flown the MAX say that it’s the same as the NG with the only noticeable difference being BRM and learning the new locat•ion of old switches. It looks quite shapely and I’m excited to get my hands on one. And since I don’t have the $110 million, I’ll be sure to get company and ATC permission before I take it around the patch. T&T
Kevin Dingman has been flying for more than 40 years. He’s an ATP typed in the B737 and DC9 with 23,000 hours in his logbook. A retired Air Force ma- jor, he flew the F-16 and later performed as an USAF Civil Air Patrol Liaison Officer. He flies volunteer missions for the Christian organization Wings of Mercy, is employed by a major airline, and owns and operates a Beechcraft Duke. Contact Kevin at dinger10d@ gmail.com.
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