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and skill are a recoverable event. As our character Ted discovered, a catastrophic airframe, flight control (or stabilizer trim, i.e. Alaska 261, Lion Air 610, Ethiopian 302) failure can be an unrecoverable situ- ation that no amount of training or luck can remedy, doofus involvement or not. And that’s no laughing matter.
So, why use humor to discuss in-flight emergencies and the use of mayday? Because if you fly long enough, most of us will eventually experience a life- threatening (yours or one of your pas- sengers’) in-f light situation. And if it’s your first time you will likely experience a shock factor, a moment (or three) of disbelief, some confusion and then time compression (you may even temporarily freeze up). The event will in no way be funny at the time but learning about the psychological effects during a stressful situation by using this type of humor- ous format may help you to remember and then to recognize them. Humor will also lower the mayday Hollywood-hurdle when the door to this dangerous dimen- sion swings opens.
You’re travelling through another dimension, a
dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind; a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries are that of imagination. That’s the sign- post up ahead – your next stop, the Twilight Zone.
– Rod Serling
Inflight problems can sometimes feel surreal. But let’s not allow the use of mayday to compound or elevate our anxiety to another dimension of reality. Our bodies react to such critical events through the amygdala and the adrenal gland – and there’s little we can do to prevent it, but we can resist. We practice hair-raising scenarios in the simulator not only to rehearse the procedures but to help override our human nature to be afraid, to fight or flee and also to ne- gate the perception of time compression. Hopefully, this humorous approach, and the opening paragraph’s alliteration-sat- urated use of the letter “P,” desensitized you to the use of the repetitive mayday,
mayday, mayday radio call; which in itself can add adrenaline and make it seem as though we are overreact- ing and overstating the seriousness of our problem.
Another upside to starting your call with mayday, however, is that you almost certainly won’t hear someone advising or admonishing you with, “You’re transmit- ting on guard – check your frequency.” Just remember, unless you have Ted riding in the back or some other button pushing doofus, your cool, calm demon- stration of some of that pilot stuff and using the mayday, mayday, mayday call will certainly carry, carry, carry – the, the, the – day, day, day. Is there an echo in here?
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Kevin Dingman has been flying for more than 40 years. He’s an ATP typed in the B737 and DC9 with 23,000 hours in his logbook. A retired Air Force major, he flew the F-16 and later performed as an USAF Civil Air Patrol Liaison Officer. He flies volunteer missions for the Christian organiz tion Wings of Mercy, is employed by a major airline, and owns and operates a Beechcraft Duke.Contact Kevin at dinger10d@gmail.com.