Page 46 - Twin and Turbine June 2017

From the Flight Deck
by Kevin R. Dingman
In The Groove
Guppy School (Part Deux)
It’s taken 150 hours, but I’m getting a handle on the 737 Guppy (see “Guppy School,” Twin & Turbine, January 2017). It’s rewarding to once again hear “Great landing, great flight” compliments from the passengers and FA’s, the flight attendants. An observer in the cockpit is well suited to gauge piloting
tasks, but an experienced FA can better evaluate the product you deliver to the customers. Senior flight attendants are like an experienced, non-pilot flying partner and are not easily impressed. A career flight attendant will consistently have more time in the back of the plane than a pilot of comparable seniority has in the front. And for those airline frequent flyers proud to have flown a million miles, FA’s are like McDonald’s hamburgers: their miles are in the billions. Thus, their experience-based critiques have legs. But take heed, they can be silky smooth or harsh and hairy.
Having seen it all, FA’s are a good judge of a well-executed flight and are not shy about pointing out the hairy details when it’s not. They know what a good flight and appropriate captain/customer interaction should look like. They understand how each phase of a flight should feel, sound and smell. They know about weather, diverts, scheduling and ATC/company procedures. And they know how to deal with customer issues that would make your pilot even-strain meter peg into the red. When you keep the customers informed, the pressurization and temperature controls where they belong, get smoothly from A to B and then also stick the landing, you may earn the flight attendant “Good Captain” label. It’s the pinnacle of airline pilot success because you’ve shown that not only are you a good pilot, but a good leader and boss. Kinda like the “Good Housekeeping Seal” for pilots, only there’s no sticker.
Old School Conflicts
Most consider me to be an old-school airline pilot. I wear the full uniform including the hat. I button the jacket and snug up the tie. But some old-school ways don’t fit well with the new-generation airliners. I talk to passengers in the terminal, and I try to talk to them as they board. But the cockpit door of the Guppy is so far from the cabin that I can barely glimpse the boarding passengers. And when someone
needs to use the forward lav while boarding, the cockpit door is forced closed by the lav door opening. How am I to acknowledge the admiration of women, children and super models? (see “Retire Me Not,” Twin & Turbine September 2016).
Also, I still make old school PA’s. Well again, I make some PA’s. With all the onboard entertainment gadgetry provided in the 737 and those the passengers bring themselves, making a rambling PA to describe our position, route and ETA can be a nuisance to those addicted to all things electronic or internet: social media, movies, games, TV shows, news...I could go on. Unlike the MD-80 which had limited theater beyond my comforting Chuck Yeager voice, I now have an annunciator light on the overhead panel that tells me when the video system in the cabin is engaged: It’s the “Captain, shut up” light. And “thou shalt not block with thy Captain prattle” thine King’s mandatory, recorded announcements, to wit: Royal boarding proclamations, luggage placement decrees nor seat belt edicts. Nor may ye interrupt, while aloft over the realm: free onboard movies, Netflix, YouTube videos or a selfie in progress. Any such infractions being punishable by removal of any previously bestowed Good Captain knighthood. So my PA’s have been caged to a brief welcome aboard greeting, one per hour inflight and then one 30 minutes before landing. My well-honed Ted Baxter delivery, neutered.
Hold On...Just a little bit tighter now, baby
(1970, Alive and Kicking)
The level of turbulence at which I turn on the seat belt signs has also changed from the MD-80. I could go up and down about phugoids, back and forth over center of gravity versus center of pressure, we could get spun around winglets, weighed
44 • TWIN & TURBINE June 2017