Page 23 - Twin & Turbine January 2018

of our mortal, Orwellian odyssey. The long list of licensing has become a necessary evil, and I’ve discovered the reason: there are morons, dips and all manner of synonyms among us.
Some of these folks are not only
those colorful words, but are dishonest
cheats and are not qualified, competent
or proficient in the simplest of
regulated nor unregulated activities.
Some don’t even stop at the stop line
at intersections, can’t tell which fork to use first and leave participles dangling when they write. When I see one of them in a public, while driving, or hear one on the radio when flying (typically an infantile comment on guard), I can’t help but mumble the old Mickey Mouse TV theme song in which they sing the individual letters, “M-i-c-k-e-y, M-o-u-s-e.” I substitute M-o-r-o-n for Mouse and make it fit the jingle. It’s a great stress reliever once the words or actions of the offending moron have been recognized and pinned to their dairy-air.
It’s not you and I that are being singled out for registration, monitoring, licensing and harassment. It’s the morons, dips, imbeciles and fungus among-us. And through the permit, passport, certification and licensing processes, they are filtered and blocked and the honest, intelligent, non-morons pay the price. Admittedly, with a large basket of humble at the ready, I make plenty of occasionally moronic mistakes. But I try to not make them out loud, in public (especially not
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January 2018 TWIN & TURBINE • 21