Page 29 - Volume 16 Number 1

Duke pilot Bob Hoffman prepares for the Alcatraz swim The beach in Cabo; a scenic run“balm” to stay warm. Where do these fitness fanatics come from? After reading the in-flight magazine. I feel like a lazy quitter for simply trading those tennis shoes for Docksiders. So I grab a sick-sack and begin to write.Heart BeatsA lot of crew members and road warriors workout on layovers; I used to be one of them. It’s a great way to survive life on the road and it’s a fine stress reliever. Eventually, I fell into the group that jokingly uses the “finite number of heartbeats” excuse to not run. As in, believing you have only just so many heartbeats to use up in a lifetime. You know: If you add up all the heartbeats you had in your lifetime before you died, it would be a finite number of beats; running uses them up faster.Of course, counting up your heart- beats in advance of your demise is difficult at best; thus the “jokingly” disclaimer. That is, unless you believe the research showing “c” isn’t really a constant in E = mc2. A derived premise using transposition in classical propositional logic would say that all the heartbeats in my life wouldn’t be a finite number. One could believe either premise; likewise one could believe the research showing “c” isn’t really a constant! Occasionally, we get mail at work about a crewmember who was running on a layover and was hospitalized or died. Sometimes it was because they were accosted by a mugger during the run and sometimes because they attained that theoretically finite numberof heart beats. In any case, when those heart beats are used up, they’re used up – rules of logic, the arrow of time and the speed of light notwithstanding.There’s an AME (flight Doc) in the terminal in Chicago who gives me my Class One. Asking him if it’s prudent to resume running will be a first step in the pending decision to put those running shoes back in my suitcase. He can tell me about target heart rates, my knees and such. Better still, maybe I’ll ask someone who doesn’t hold the future of my flying career on the tip of his pen if I say something that violates the laws of logic or physics. I’ll need to dig the heart-rate monitor out of my desk. It’s the kind you wear around your chest, transmitting your heart rate to the receiver on your wrist or the workout machine.ResolutionsWill I run a marathon before I retire? Maybe......probably not. I certainly won’t swim the Escape from Alcatraz nightmare; I’ll leave that up to my Duke buddy Bob and Clint Eastwood. But I should work out on layovers. Plenty of my FO’s still run – they’re not yet in their 50’s; they will run with me. Especially since they know that if I use up the rest of my heart beats they’ll move up one seniority number. January is the month for resolutions, right? I resolve to get back into shape and run on layovers again. Some of the places we lay over have incredibly scenic places to run; the beach in Cabo (SJD) comes to mind.I’m going to put those bulky tennis shoes back in the suitcase. By next spring I hope to have returned to running condition. I’m not yet ready to be 60; I may never be ready. So, if you see this column suddenly disappear from T&T you’ll know I was probably working out on a layover and reached that finite number of heartbeats or exceeded the speed of light, while attempting to stay in shape. Or, more likely, some misguided mugger with insufficient social open-mindedness didn’t much like the dude in shorts, Nikes and lipstick.... I mean lip balm.Author’s note:Thanks to Professor Davis for his remarks on logic and physics. (Note to self: less champagne next time when researching withthe professor.) T&T •Kevin Dingman has been flying for 39 years. He’s an ATP typed in the B737 and DC9 with 18,000 hours. A retired Air Force Major; he flew the F-16 then performed as a USAF Civil Air Patrol Liai- son Officer. He flies volunteer missions for the Christian or- ganization Wings Of Mercy, is employed by a major airline, and owns and operates a Beech- craft Duke. Contact Kevin at Dinger10d@gmail.com.JANUARY 2012 TWIN & TURBINE • 27