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A Hard Day’s Night
– The Beatles, 1964
When I first upgraded to Captain on the MD-80, my low seniority forced me to fly all-nighters. I’d flown plenty of them as an F.O. in L.A. 17 years earlier, mainly to the East Coast and Guadalajara, Mexico, but I quickly discov- ered the trips to be more painful than I remembered. My young(er) F.O.s attributed it to my age. Of course, they were right, those insensitive whippersnappers. Then, after integrating our two airlines and transitioning to the B-737, I found myself junior once again, returning to ORD from SFO, PDX, SEA or LAS at 5:30 a.m. I’d arrive tired and grumpy like I’d battled a woolly mammoth. Luckily for those around me, unlike the Air Force missions, the arrivals were without ordnance or that sticky thing from my Passing Gas article. I’ve found myself in the Citation after midnight just a few times, but respect for flexibility and fatigue will be needed as we all attempt to squeeze more work and play into each flying day.
It doesn’t have to be dark outside to feel fatigued.
Be prepared for ‘post-meal’ fatigue if you eat inflight.
not-so-stupid hotel in Marco Island (as dem- onstrated by his need to edit my incessant use of parenthetical statements, creative as they may be, my grammatical legerdemain and the ingenious application of made-up words). Strategic time management, and the boredom pursuant, have usurped this geriatric Part 135 captain’s eating/playing/writing regimen. Perhaps with fewer parenthetical statements (such as this) and a power nap, I can transform from a blabbering, cryptograph-chiseling caveman to Professor Gump’s humble and contrite persona to finish this story.
The Power Nap and Sleep Inertia
Do they work? Well, the FAA, airlines, and military have considered allowing cockpit napping for some time–with strict guidelines for the pilot(s) who remain awake in such a scenario. A fine idea but extremely difficult to sell to the flying public—especially in part 135, where the crew would be visible as they
snore, drool and talk in their sleep. The AOPA Air Safety Foundation related the story of a G.A. pilot whose “power nap” ended when he awoke unhurt in a cornfield. And then another when a CFI’s micro-nap on final allowed his student to collide with a snow bank. Obviously, strategic napping should only be employed with another awake and alert pilot able to monitor the airplane. At one point, official guidance for power napping was to rest until a pencil would fall from between your fingers. More recently, it was shown that 15-20 minutes is needed to put us at the proper place on the sleep sine-wave chart without developing “sleep inertia” — that is, feeling worse after the nap than if you hadn’t napped at all. Without the luxury of a power nap, how do we combat fatigue to
Stupid is, as stupid does
– Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks), 1994
Having no choice but to be flexible and adapt when faced with an all-nighter, I’ve often embraced the philosophy of the famous shrimp boat Captain and long-distance runner: Professor Forrest Gump. Not the box-of-chocolate axiom; the epistemological philosophy of stupid is, as stupid does. To ensure proper rest, my layovers no longer include all- day leisure events like stupid-golf or stupid-tours of the city. And no stupid-socializing and staying up late to have dinner and drinks with the F.O. But our new editor will still benefit from my elucubrating over articles written at that
June 2023 / TWIN & TURBINE • 23